Fanny and Hoagie's Dadly Adventure
by Mr-Herp-Derp
Summary: Fanny and Hoagie fall victim to Father's most diabolical scheme yet. Now they must work together to escape this strange and evil dimension Father thrust them into. A strange figure with a strange way of talking seems to be their only ally, and they claim to have their own reasons for wanting to stop Father. Can Fanny and Hoagie defeat Father? Fanny/Hoagie. Headcanons ahoy!
1. Prologue

Father has unleashed his biggest, most diabolical plot; to warp the Kids Next Door into an alternate dimension of his own creation, where he is god, his word is law, and he can make and unmake as he sees fit. he starts small by only sending two KND operatives in: Numbuhs 2 and 86. Hoagie and Fanny must work together to find a way to defeat Father and return home. Not so easy when every denizen of this place seems to have one bone to pick with them or the other. Their only ally comes in the shape of a strange figure, who claims to have their own reasons for wanting to stop Father. What's more is that the two kids also seem to be exhibiting superpowers. Can Hoagie and Fanny defeat Father and return home (assuming they don't kill each other first)? Fanny/Hoagie.

KND belongs to whoever owns it.

Also, I want to say thank you to sailorlovesong from deviantart for helping me out here. One final thing, this story is crafted with a few headcanons I have. Anyway, that's enough author's note, onto the story.

Prologue

"Yes! YES!" Father roared in pride, "I finally did it! I finally found a fail proof plan that will get those snot nosed brats out of my way for good! This can't possibly fail!" Father looked back down at his latest creation: At first glance, it appeared as a round table, big enough to fit four comfortably. The table was made of silver, and appeared to be very light. The top was lined with different kinds of glass and metal. The greens and blacks of the glasses and metals mixed well together with the silver table. If he had a visible mouth, spectators would note (if any existed) that he would be grinning.

"But of course," he said, calming down from his excited burst, "I should take baby steps. This thing cost me a lot of money, gotta take it slow to make sure my money was spent well." Father swiveled his chair around one hundred eighty degrees to a supercomputer behind him. He typed a few keys, and focused on a massive, familiar, tree house.

"I got a feeling here," he said to himself, "that tree house is empty today." He hit a few more keys, Soon, his screen was filled with a lone figure. He was very plump, with brown pants, black and white shoes, a blue button up shirt, and a brown pilots helmet with yellow goggles. There was a number etched into said hat. the boy seemed to be sweeping a floor, and though Father couldn't hear exactly what he was saying, it _had_ to be something. From what he could hear, he wasn't excited about his current position.

"Don't worry Number Two," he said with a smirk (again, if he had a visible mouth) "You will soon be sweeping a different floor: The floor of my new toy." Once again, Father bellowed loudly in evil laughter.

Meanwhile, in the Sector V treehouse, Hoagie Gilligan sweeped the last little bit of dust into the dustpan, before sliding it into a trashcan, then sitting his posterior on the couch.

"Finally," he moaned, exasperated, "finished Numbah Four's chores. He's lucky he actually did beat me in that game, or he'd be doing _my_ chores. At least now I can sit down and-"

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAGIE!" cried out a familiar voice. Hoagie groaned.

"Tommy," said Hoagie, "you know you can't come in here anymore. You took your booger out, and you're not Numbah T anymore."

"But, but," whined Tommy, "I wanna see my brother."

"Fine," sighed Hoagie, "What do you want?" Tommy opened his mouth to speak, but before he could get any words out, an angry bellow filled the air: A _scottish_ angry bellow.

 **(Author's Note: I have not typed as a person with a scottish accent before, so I may come off as borderline (if not completely) stereotypical. If this is the case, please tell me and give me pointers on how to fix it.)**

"WHAT IS THIS?!" shouted the clearly female voice. Hoagie moaned as recognition happened instantly. She stormed into the room, her boot stomps echoing loudly as she angrily marched. She wore a silver and black helmet over her red hair. Her freckled face was showing an expression of borderline rage. Hoagie may have seen a girl, but Tommy saw a sabertooth tiger. She wore a green sweater that was just a touch too big for her. An orange skirt and brown boots completed the outfit. Fanny Fullbright, also known as the head of decommissioning, Numbuh Eighty Six, glared at Numbuh Two with a pair of ice pick eyes.

"YOU!" she shouted, pointing a finger at the plump pilot, "Ye and the other numbskulls were supposed ta be buildin' the upgrade system Ah sent ye for ye security system. And here Ah find ye on yer rump. And just where are the other numbskulls?"

"Numbuh One's camping with his dad," began Hoagie, listing the reasons for the missing operatives on his fingers, "Numbah Three's on vacation, Numbuh Four is...I actually don't know where he is. And Numbuh Five's-"

"AH DON'T CARE WHERE THEY ARE!" Fanny bellowed, "Ah want to know why yer here and not buildin' the-" But before she could finish, she was interrupted by an all too familiar laugh. The three heads looked at the large window, and who should they see but Father, or at least, his upper half, reflected against the large window. If Tommy wasn't cowering behind Hoagie before, he was now.

"Well well well," said Father, "am I interrupting something?"

"If you count Fanny screaming her head off as something, then yeah I guess you OOF!" Fanny retracted her fist and then pointed at Father,

"Ah don't know what ye planning, Father," she said, definitively drawing the lines of battle, "but it ain't gonna work. Ya might as well just throw in the towel now!" This was only met by laughter.

"Oh, Fanny. The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree. You're just as dumb as your father." Hoagie looked over at Fanny to see her reaction. She growled, clenching her fists and teeth tighter. But before she could retaliate, Father resumed his speech,

"I have a new toy, that's going to destroy the Kids Next Door, and whoever else gets in my way. And you two, possibly three, are the first ones to fall victim! Have fun!" As mysteriously as it appeared, Father's face vanished, but was replaced by a massive vortex. Tommy was caught completely off guard, and tumbled towards it, just barely grabbing a couch leg that was bolted to the wooden floor.

"Tommy!" yelled Hoagie.

"Forget him!" yelled Fanny, "we need to-"

"Forget my _brother?_ " Hoagie nearly shouted, "heck no!" Hoagie ran, despite the vortex trying to pull his feet off of the floor, and he managed to get next to his brother.

"Don't tattle on me for this one!" He yelled over the howling winds, and he threw his younger brother out the window. Tommy landed at the base of the tree, rolling and tumbling to a stop. He got up, and rubbed his arm, before running home. However, with that act, Hoagie used his last available strength, and was unable to hold. He tumbled like dice towards the portal. No sooner did he touch it than his body disintegrated into millions of tiny particles, which then shot into the portal like dust into a vacuum cleaner.

Fanny was clinging to the command console of the tree house, but this vortex was proving to be too strong. Her fingers were sore, and nearly bleeding from the force she was putting on them to keep out of the vortex. Then, as if Father was running out of patience, the wind increased in speed and power. Fanny was thrown onto her...fanny, and found herself being dragged along the wooden floor, the friction creating heat. She rolled onto her stomach and tried to drag to a stop, but to no prevail. And Fanny, just as Hoagie before her, was disintegrated.

When Fanny became one girl again, she felt the sensation of falling, and was involuntarily screaming while doing so. She seemed to be surrounded by fire, and how her flamable sweater hadn't caught fire yet was a mystery, but falling and screaming took priority at the moment. She looked and saw that she was falling towards a lava like portal. And when she got inches away from it, again, she disintegrated.

Fanny once again became one girl, and landed rump first on a dirt ground. She looked down at herself.

"Am I still here?" she asked herself.

"Well are you?" asked a voice, and this was followed by laughter, and she was reminded of being filled with rage at the owner. She stood up, stormed over to him, and delivered a powerful blow to his face.

"THIS IS ALL YER FAULT!" she screamed. "YE DISOBEYED ME AND NOW LOOK! WHAT'S THE MATTER? DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? IS YA STUPID HELMET ON TOO TIGHT?" She was about to continue screaming, but then something seemed to snap inside of Hoagie. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pinned her to the nearby rock wall.

"You can insult me all you want," he was shouting in her face, "but don't you ever talk like that about my helmet again!" Fanny was about to yell back at him, when suddenly a booming, but familar voice, scared them out of their argument.

"You kiddies are in my realm now!" Yelled Father's voice, only he seemed to take up the whole sky now, at least his head, arms, and torso did. "I made this cute little realm. My word is law, and I can make and unmake as I see fit. You kids aren't going to make it out of here alive. Meanwhile, I can watch it all from where I am. You're doomed, kiddos. First you, then the rest of the Kids Next Door!" Father burst into his trademark laugh, before fading out of the sky, followed slowly by his laugh.


	2. The Adventure Begins

Just a quick author's note. I had no idea what I was getting myself into until I was already half way through the first chapter. I never knew that 2/86 was a popular ship. So, that came as a pleasant surprise for me. Anyhow, I have an idea for how to continue so here we go.

Chapter One

The Adventure Begins

Fanny took a minute to survey her surroundings. Father had a way of making the very environment bleak. The ground was not the green and brown that she was used to. The patches of grass were blood red and the dirt under them was black as night. The grass was growing unevenly; some patches of ground had a lot of grass, and others only dirt. The sky and clouds were not the usual blue and white. The sky was a dreary grey and the clouds were a hideous brown. The area the kids were in seemed to be a hilltop, with trees around them. The bark of the trees was a putrid dark yellow, akin to bile, and the leaves were also blood red. The steep incline just inches from her feet seemed to lead to a small village. Fanny put on her "You-Stupid-Boy" face and turned on her heel towards Hoagie.

"Now since this is yer fault," she said harshly, "ye can find a way to get us out."

"You do realize," said Hoagie, his calmness really getting under her skin, "that even if I had obeyed you, we'd still be in here, plus we'd have Tommy to deal with too. So instead of screaming at me, you should be _thanking_ me instead." Fanny felt the rage swell in her chest, but at the same time, he had a point. It was already stressful that they'd fallen victim to Father's new dimension. To have a whiney brat in the mix would only make it worse.

"Okay," she said, sighing an annoyed sigh, "ye got a point there. But that doesn't change the fact we're in this mess. Ye better get thinking on how ya gonna get us outta this, ye stupid boy." Hoagie seemed annoyed at her at the moment, but he didn't do or say anything in retaliation. Suddenly, there was a whooshing sound, followed by the sound of splitting wood. Fanny looked to where the split wood sound came from. There was a black arrow in a tree, with a beige piece of paper wrapped around the shaft. Hoagie tugged at the string holding the piece of paper and pulled it off. He noticed there was writing on it.

"Come to the Burly Bully Inn," he read, "we can help you. Ask the bartender for The One Who Speaks As Many."

"It's gotta be a trap," said Fanny.

"Even if it is," said Hoagie, "taking a chance that somebody could help us is better than trying this alone." Once again, the fact that Hoagie actually made a good point was really irking her. The two started down the hill.

...

The Inn reeked of tobacco, and a thick cloud of the smoke from several cigarettes fogged the room. From the back of the room, a piano was playing a strange song, being a bit too light hearted and welcoming for the particular scene. The floorboards creaked with every step, and the patrons all paused from their vices to give a resentful glare to our heroes, but then returned to their drinking or smoking. Hoagie's eyes scanned the room for the Bartender.

There was a large man standing behind the counter, in a bright blue shirt, a beige apron, and a red bowtie, with thinning grey hair. His lower half was hidden by the counter. Hoagie tapped Fanny's side, and when he had her attention, he pointed to the bartender. The two walked to the counter and climbed, with some difficulty, into the stools. The Bartender looked at them with a scowl, like they'd stolen money from him and were now waving it in his face.

"Easy man," said Hoagie, "we're not here for drinks; we're looking for," he paused, took the note from his pocket, and read it again. When he finished, he pocketed the note and resumed his request, "The One Who Speaks As Many." The bartender's scowl was unwavering, but he tilted his head, pointing across the room with his scalp. Fanny and Hoagie followed the point, and there they saw a figure. The body shape led to the theory that it was a male, but his skin was all black like a silhouette, just like Father. But something was different about this one. This one wasn't nearly as intimidating as Father.

The figure was tall and lean, with a slightly larger than normal head. He was sitting at a table with a very large, muscular man. Both of them were looking down at the table, but people stood between them and the kids, so their exact activity was unknown at the moment. Fanny and Hoagie got off the bar stools and walked over to the table. They came up behind the figure. He raised a hand to stop their advance.

"One moment please," he said, his voice sounded like many voices speaking at once, but all the voices were distorted and strange. "We nearly have this game in the bag."

"Hey!" Cried the large man, playing cards flying every which way, "you couldn'ta done that! You must be cheating!" Hoagie walked up next to the man and patted his shoulder.

"It's okay," he said, in a cool voice, "you'll get 'em next time."

"Wha?" asked the man, bewildered, and then his face curved in anger. "Oh, I see what this is." The sound of his fist hitting Hoagie's face echoed through the entire room. It was a crippling blow, and Hoagie staggered backwards and collapsed in a heap. His head hit a table, but it was in just the right way for the table to flip over onto him,

"You're his mate," said the big man, pointing a beefy finger at the one who spoke as many. Hoagie placed his hands on the table and gave a shove. The table flew off of him, which allowed him to stand up and march back to his assailant, and the table shattered against the floor. Hoagie didn't even look hurt; nary a bruise or drop of blood on his face.

"You wanna try that again?" Hoagie demanded in a challenging tone, staring daggers at his attacker,

"Gladly," said the big man, standing up, "I forgot to break your nose." Just as the two were about to engage in a fight, they were splashed by cold, probably dirty, water. Fanny stood just near them, holding a bucket that was wet inside.

"Ye stupid boys are all the same. Always pickin' fights for no reason." Two men stood up from a nearby table and stomped over to Fanny.

"You little brat," one of them slurred, "You don't pick into boss' fights!" The two men seemed to be about to pounce on Fanny, when from nowhere, a table flew and knocked both of them away, without even touching her.

"Come on guys," cried out a voice, which annoyed her even more, "don't you know not to gang up on girls?" Hoagie stood nearby, holding a chair above his head; with a panicked patron still sitting on it.

"Now you've done it," the big man snarled at the plump boy, "Those are my boys!" The big man charged at Hoagie, but he threw the chair and knocked him over like a sack of anvils. One of the lackeys stood up, seemingly dizzy, and lunged at Fanny, who simply stepped to the side and tripped him. Then she focused her attention on the fight between Hoagie and the big man. She pulled out her M.U.S.K.E.T and pointed it at the fray, but somebody grabbed her arm and dragged her out. She shot a glare at whoever it was; it was the figure they were here for.

Fanny was being pulled along and was unable to break his grip, so she took one last look at the fight between Hoagie and the big man. Hoagie was having no trouble, as he would move the man's buddy to be hit by the blow, then retaliate with his own.

…

Outside the Inn, Fanny could still hear the fighting, and faintly hear the piano still playing the same tune; apparently fights were so common in the inn that the piano player had learned to turn a deaf ear to them. Fanny stole a glare at The One Who Spoke As Many, his arm still grasping her. She finally ripped it from his grasp.

"Let go a me, ye big stupid ape." He looked at her, and crossed his arms across his chest.

"We want to help you," he said, "and this is how we are paid? Perhaps we should reconsider and let you rot here on your own." Fanny sighed, then swallowed her pride.

"Sorry," she said, clearly not liking having to apologize to a boy. The One nodded, then took a seat on the black dirt ground.

"We will wait for your friend," he said, "before we begin."

"He's not mah friend," said Fanny defensively, "he's just a stupid boy!"

"One of your subordinates, yes?"

"How did-"

"We have our ways. All will be revealed later." Just then, Hoagie walked out of the in, dusting his hands off.

"Sure showed HIM a thing or two," he said, grinning.

"If ya done wasting time," said Fanny, "we still have to get outta this crazy place."

"Why don't we call Reinforcements?" asked Hoagie.

"Fer once, ye have a good idea." Fanny pulled out her communicator. "This is Numbuh 86, requestin' immediate support. We are-" But she was cut off by a voice; once that the two KND operatives had had enough of for a lifetime.

"Nice try, Fanny," said the smug voice of Father, "but I'm ten steps ahead of you. Any contingency you can think of, I've already planned for. I'm turning in for the night. Have fun in my dimension. Oh, and one more thing; I've sent in some friends for you to play with. Stay outta the street." Father laughed at the steaming kids and then static invaded Fanny's communicator.

"Father has gone too far," said the One, "we will help you stop him."

"Why?" asked Hoagie, "no offence, but the way you're just a silhouette like he is, you kinda look like you're in league with him."

"Yeah," Fanny chimed in, "how do we know you actually wanna help us?"

"We will say this," said the One, "we have our own reasons for wanting to stop Father. All will be revealed later."

"So, what exactly do we call you?" asked Hoagie.

"You may call us," said the One, "Towsam."

"Towsam?" asked Hoagie, "what kinda name is that?"

"It is an acronym," Towsam retorted, "it stands for The One Who Speaks As Many. Towsam is shorter."

"Makes sense." Hoagie shrugged his shoulders.

"Now then," said Towsam, "we must begin your training."

"What kinda training do we need?" Fanny demanded.

"You shall see," Towsam stood and started walking away, leaving the children to follow after him.

And I will close here. And yes, for the record, in case anyone recognizes the bar fight scene, I admit to stealing that from Dragonquest VIII. Next chapter will hopefully be up soon.


	3. Preparing

Chapter Two

Preparing

Towsam led the two kids to what looked like a town that had suffered a war and was now abandoned. Destroyed buildings, broken streets, severed lamp posts, and other signs that this town was given no mercy.

"What is this place?" asked Hoagie, "looks like a bomb went off here."

"Several did," said Towsam, "A war happened, and this town was the first to go."

"How long ago did that happen?" asked Fanny, "this place looks like it's just been sittin' here for years,"

"It has," said Towsam.

"Wait, didn't Father just create this dimension?" asked Hoagie, "How could years have passed if he just made it?"

"Father wanted the dimension to destroy any hope you kids have of getting out. He wanted to make a place that is gloomy and depressing. The colors of the place are also meant to mess with you. Though the people of this dimension are fake, they have their own mindsets and act independently; Father made the dimension and took a step back."

"How d'ya know all this?" asked Fanny,

"We have our ways. All will be revealed later."

"Is that all ye have ta say?" demanded Fanny, "Ah demand some answers here! HOW D'YE KNOW ALL THIS?!" Towsam waited for Fanny to finish screaming at him, and catch her breath, before replying.

"Are you done yelling?" Fanny sighed an annoyed sigh.

"Yes," she said, begrudgingly.

"As we said," Towsam reassured, "we have our ways. We cannot reveal them yet, but we have them. We will not abandon you. We can understand your reservations, but you must have some faith in us."

"So why did you bring us here, anyway?" asked Hoagie,

"Because," said Towsam, "we must train you."

"Train us for what?" asked Hoagie,

"There is a side effect of humans entering this realm," said Towsam, "they begin to exhibit super powers."

"Super powers?" asked Fanny, "why would Father give us super powers?"

"He didn't," said Towsam, "but it is a side effect he was unable to remove. To make up for that, he made the realm much more dangerous. He is also soon to send someone in to stop you. You must be ready for that. We will make sure you are."

"So what kinds of powers did we get?" asked Hoagie,

"You only got one power. Father noticed that the younger people he sent in, only got one power. The older ones got more than one power."

"But how does Father know about all that?" asked Fanny, "who did Father send in ta test this dump out? And again...HOW D'YA KNOW ALL THIS?!"

"We will not say it again," said Towsam, a bit of annoyance in his voices, "we have our ways and will reveal them in due time. But for now, you will just have to trust us." Towsam then looked at Hoagie,

"As for your power, we already know what it is; you have obtained," he paused, causing Hoagie to lean forward in anticipation, "super strength." Hoagie's eyes widened.

"COOL!" he said.

"But how d'ye know he has that?" asked Fanny,

"Simple," said Towsam, "the bar fight. In normal circumstances, the big man would have crushed him in just a few hits. But with his strength, Hoagie was able to withstand the assault and fight back."

"Alright," said Fanny, tapping her foot impatiently, "what did Ah get?" Towsam looked at her,

"We do not know yet," he said, "but we know how we will figure it out." Towsam looked on the ground around him, when he saw a massive circular saw blade. He carefully picked it up, and, without warning, he threw it like a discus...at Fanny! Fanny screamed a bit, then when the saw came close to her, she _flipped_ off the ground, and her whole body was above the sawblade, and it sailed smoothly under her. Fanny then flipped around, her feet landing on the ground. To her spectators, it looked like she had been practicing a million times, but to Fanny, it was one of the strangest things she ever went through.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" Fanny demanded.

"We wanted to test what kind of power you got," said Towsam, "and know we know; you have the power of superhuman agility. You may even be able to dodge bullets." Fanny's eyes widened.

"That's amazin'!" said Fanny.

"Indeed," said Towsam, "feel free to practice up, until the villain shows their face."

…

"You've gotta help me!" screamed Tommy, "Please, please, please?!"

"Can you stop yelling, Tommy?" Groaned Nigel, exasperated, "I just got back from camping ten minutes ago, and you're screaming in my ear. What exactly is the problem?"

"Father has Hoagie and…that mean girl!"

"WHAT?!" Nigel was startled. He would have spit if he were drinking when Tommy said that. "Where did he take them?! Also, which mean girl?"

"The red haired who's always yelling." Explained Tommy, glad that Nigel was finally listening. "But I dunno where he took them, He sucked them in some big portal, and Hoagie threw me outta window before he got sucked in. I ran back up and they were gone." As little as Nigel wanted to believe Tommy, in the back of his mind, he knew the young boy had to be telling the truth.

Tommy may have more of an active imagination than he should be allowed, he even he would never tell tall tales if he wanted someone to believe him. Besides, this was Father they were dealing with, and this kind of thing was defiantly something Father would do. The how was unclear, but the motive was unquestionable. Nigel took out his communicator,

"Kids Next Door, This is Numbuh 1, reporting with a super black booger berry emergency!" The line was silent before a voice came back to him,

"Super Black Booger Berry Emergency?!" came the voice of Abigail, also known as Numbuh Five, the shock and alarm very alive in her tone, "Numbuh Five's only heard of those, but I didn't think they were real."

"What's the emergency?!" suddenly came the voice of Numbuh Four,

"Father has Numbuhs 2 and 86. The details are vague, but I need all hands on deck!"

"Numbuh Five's On The way!" Responded Numbuh Five.

"Be right there!" Came Numbuh Four, "I'll get Numbuh Three on the way."

"Excellent," confirmed Numbuh 1, "meet me at the tree house ASAP." Nigel put his communicator away, then directed a glance at Tommy,

"As for you, Tommy," he said, "I need you to get me something of Hoagie's. Something we can use that he's recently touched." Tommy turned and ran, and Nigel had to call to his back,

"JUST NOT HIS UNDERWEAR!"

I dunno, guys, I'm gonna have to cut it here. I am so sorry this update came so slow, but this was really hard to write for some reason. Hey if you guys have ideas to improve it, let me know, and if I use your ideas, you will be credited. Thanks again for reading, guys, see you next time.


End file.
